How to Help Me Enjoy you
Complaints from potential subs & Dommes can seem almost endless at times. Potential subs are tired of demands for money & being blocked for what seems to be no reason at all. Dommes are tired of time wasters & not being respected. The reason both are unhappy is because of the typical disconnect which occurs during the very first interaction; We are people first, not kink dispensers. While you might not want to hear this, the truth is, the responsibility of making these interactions enjoyable for both of you is the sub’s responsibility more so than the Domme’s. How can it be the subs responsibility if the Domme is supposed to be in charge? As much as We’d LOVE to plug you into a controller & make you do exactly what We want, you choose how you behave. And a sub’s role, even if it’s only for 30 minutes, is to please Us.
Who enjoys doing extra work for the same result? Most of Us have placed all the information you need to schedule services in an easily accessible location. It may not seem like a big deal to you to ask questions on how to set up a service, how much X costs, or what to expect in a session, but that’s because you are only making contact with Us. We, on the other hand, have multiple people asking us the very same questions which we’ve already posted somewhere, & answering 5 questions from 20+ people takes a lot of time away from actual services. Consider the majority of these people will not actually book a service; this is why ‘time wasters’ are a common complaint & so many Dommes ask for tribute upfront. Unless you’re discussing a customized service, there is no reason it should take more than 2 messages to set it up.
Don’t offer to “help” Us with things We haven’t asked for. Many potential subs think that offering trade for trade is a reasonable thing to do. It isn’t. If we aren’t asking for a specific type of sub, we aren’t interested in whatever you think you can bring to the table for free. Many subs with your same skill set are willing to pay for the opportunity to help. This makes your “offer” seem like you are just interested in getting free services. Many of Us have have Our work stolen, shared, & used for catfish accounts on top of that; We often won’t allow subs a role such as digital media until We feel a certain level of trust with them.
Give Us the space We want. Pushing to meet will push Us away. Sex work is still a considerably dangerous thing. Even a cash meet will usually require some sort of vetting process so that We can feel safe. Even if We enjoy you as an online sub or a dungeon sub, that doesn’t mean We want to spend time with you outside of that space. In person is also very different than online. Not every Domme wants to do in person sessions. Trust Me, if We do want to meet you in person, you’ll know. Continuing to ask is inconsiderate & I personally won’t want to interact as much if you do so.
Respect Our time. Be cognizant of the time you have remaining in a session; send for more time if you need more. We have other clients to attend to, family, friends, hobbies, & interests outside of D/s. Not every Domme wants contact outside of services, but some do. I enjoy it from some clients, but that doesn’t mean I want to be barraged with emails & texts without payment. If you contact any Domme outside of services, understand responding is Their choice. As a general rule, if We don’t initiate it, it’s wiser not to do it without at least asking first.
Treat Us like people. We are human & are as intricate & varied as everyone else. We have feelings & can have bad days, too. Remember, we are people first – be a person when you talk to Us. Approach Us like you would any other stranger you were meeting for the first time. Always respect Our limits & rules. Be polite. Say please & thank you. Unless established beforehand, be fully clothed at the start of sessions. Don’t send unsolicited dick pics of any kind, sex acts, or anything you wouldn’t send your grandmother without asking first. Just be nice.
A Domme’s enjoyment of you will determine how much she wants to interact. Helping things go as smoothly as possible when setting up a service will go a long way. Offering your own services unprompted will not. Asking to meet in person & treating Us as if we’re married to you is a huge turn off. Being kind & respectful will help you stand out. We have so many potential subs vying for our attention, but following these tips will put you closer to the top of the list. Do a little research to see if she might be the Domme for you. Do you want to make a great impression or be written off as a time waster? It’s not just your choice, but your responsibility.